OK, I’m trying to be honest to myself here.
I’ve been running away from reality and yes indeed, it gets very exhausting.
So finally, I embrace myself to look at those horrific numbers in that square plated thing and I see a needle points at number 58. What the f***!!!?!! I gained like 8 kilos in (well, OK) 4 years! Oh dear God, I am that heavy, oh please help me!
I have pretty constant weights before and it always stays in 50. Sometimes it went to 48, or 52. But it didn’t put me much into trouble. I don’t really recall why I continue gaining weights ever since. But I do remember, it was in 2004, when I moved into my new house. It was quite a transition. I was working on my thesis, I got these cool dudes to hang out with, I could swim or exercise whenever I wanted to and I even could use the sauna. Let’s say I got overwhelmed with this situation. I exercised like, almost twice a week. And I enjoyed life to the max point. Next thing I know, I gained to 54 kilos. I said to myself “damn, did I just eat the elephant?” Maybe that time I let the food in, way too much than the way I let the food out. So, voila! You can guess what happened next.
And then, there comes the times that I became the unoccupied stressed-psycho college student. I was working on my thesis, I have no more classes and I have no jobs yet. So, go figure… I became this laziest girl, who woke up at nearly 11am every morning, ate all of the food that I thought was necessary to overcome my depression on working that thesis, slept throughout the day, or just simply sat comfortably on my chair and making love with the computer. No wonder my ass got the shape of that chair… sigh. At this point, my weights touches number 56. I tried to ignore it and assumed (in denial) that it will go back to normal somehow.
But then, there comes another stage of my life: The first time jobber. Nervous, Anxious, Stressed, Excited, thrilled, you name it! I’ve got all of those feelings surrounding me at the same time. The easiest emergency exit was, of course: eating. So, after a whole year of working, I finally said to myself that “this is going too far and I need to do something to stop it right away.” There, I said it loud and clear. It’s something that I should admit, so I can deal with it.
I think level 1 is completed.
So now, moving on to the next level.
The hardest part: losing weight.
Well, I guess I’ll let you know the progress soon.
Hope it (and it should) works!
Wish me luck! :D
