Stutter Starter

Hhmpph

It’s been a year since my last posting. Had an issue of not having an internet connection in my house. So it’s a little bit complicated for me just to write my thoughts online continuously. Sigh. Too bad.

A lot of things have happened in the past few months.
My best friend Dian, already got married and expecting a baby girl within a month. Oh! And soon will be moving in to a house, not more than 20km/hour car speed away from my house!

I’ve already graduated last December (at last!) with an averageGPA.

Got an interview with Chuesenko. And (I think!) it was actually went well. But then got rejected in terms of salary.

And now, I am what Indonesian said “pengangguran”.
Sleep late, wake up late, watch DVD, play PC game or even doing nothing every single day. Fun? Oh I’m trying to enjoy every second of it! Because I know this is the last moment where people can do ridiculous things in life before they really got a real job.

Job?
I wish I’ve already have one.
If I knew finding a job would be this hard and frustrating, I would take Chuosenko even for a small deal. Someone said that everybody has to start somewhere. And I thought Chuosenko was a good start for me. I just couldn’t see clearly back then.

A few months passed away. The pressure from my closest ones, and from the industry it self, made me a little bit annoyed. While my family forces me to get any kind of job with a nice salary, my conscience said that I need to be a little picky to choose my future office and mentor. Because (I know) I’m still raw and need help to explore myself more.

The question is, what kind of company would hire a raw and clueless copywriter like me?
I’ve been dragged into the deepest and darkest hole of confidence, just in time when I needed it the most.

A big dilemma came to me a few days ago when my sister offers me a job in her office. Her office by the way, is a web design / animation kind of service and not an advertising agency. No intentions of disrespecting it, but I think I just don’t fit in there. This whole web thing is new for me. Sometimes I asked myself: if I should start something from zero, why web design instead of advertising?

Okay. Maybe I’ve made myself clear there. But where is my cue? How come I didn’t got any calls for interview? How much longer should I wait like this?
Or should I just take the web offer and try advertising afterward? You know, just to keep me alive from hunger for a moment…

God, I’m in a deep confusion.
The pressure’s got bigger everyday
My confidence’s still sinking

If I have to choose, what would it be…

To be an idealistic unemployment or to be a passionless employee?