As my previous post, I was invited to one of my good friend’s band performance: dzeek at alun-alun Grand Indonesia. So there I went with my husband and one of my best friends.
Anyway, I did have a little sneak preview of the band on youtube. Well the music is making friends with my ears quite easily and it took me just a while to decide that I’m a proud fan of dzeek ;). But still, watching live performance is another thing for me. So yeah, I was really enjoying the show. Imam greeted us between the songs. Some of his words that I captured was “this album is dedicated to both of you, the whole billion copies of it”. I was like “Yaaay Imam… Yaaay dzeek…” I didn’t even understand what the billion copies stand for. I’m pretty happy already, knowing that he personally invited us to the launching and that he will give us the album himself as a wedding gift for us.
So after the performance was over, he brought the CD and opened the cover for us. He took us to the page where his name is printed on it and pointed his finger to the words below it. There goes my name and my husband’s name, printed well between his wedding wishes for us.
All I could say was “WOOOOW”… “THANK YOOOOU”…. WOOOOW”… “THANK YOOOOU”… over and over again. I was really out of words, I didn’t even know what to say to him. This was really beyond my expectation. I feel really blessed. Thank you God for sending me good and loving friends into my life. I hope I can make them smile in the future, just the way they made a smile on my face today. I am truly blessed.
Thank you Imam. Thank you dzeek.
May you live happily ever after too ;) .
by the way,
i really like the last song that I suspect, titled as ‘final call’. But I just can’t help but wonder, why they put a pretty long pause from the previous song? I’ve almost thought that the song is not even there.
Hehe, just curious though ;)
I love gifts.But sometimes, when you got the most unexpected gifts from the most surprising friend, you will have to leave your jaws opened for a moment. This afternoon, I received a message from a good old friend of mine. He said that he’s going to launch his band’s second album: dzeek, at alun-alun – Grand Indonesia, this June 21th.
For reasons I have failed to understand, he’s inviting me and my husband to the launching because he wants to give us the album himself, as a wedding gift for us. I’m so happy and honored; I have almost shed a tear while reading it. I mean, my wedding is like months ago, I didn’t even expect any presents anymore. And because we do like their music and we know that this launching is important to him, this will become the sweetest gift we’ve ever received.
Thank you dearest Imam,
This gift will be remembered forever :)
I’m a copywriter. But yet I’ve never really succeeded in expressing my own feelings into words. It is a shameful fact, I know. But I did try to fight… and I’m still trying…
These, on the other hand, are a few expressions that I eventually managed to write down. I don’t say that these are good writings. But they are giving me vivid memories of a few crossroads I’ve been facing back then. And of course, that crossroads lead me here.
Later I found out that these writing were about to be vanished from its blog. I must do something.
So here we are :)
I’m still having the same old problem, though. But I hope I can manage some time to let myself free for once in a while.
This should be a good sign to start over again.
Wish me luck!
these girls just know how to please me…
and the timing couldn’t be more perfect.
I am truly blessed to have them here in my heart.
for they have made a smile on my face,
in the most fearful moment of my life.
thank you guys ♥
Opening your 10 years old boxes that’s been hidden way too deep in your closet will always makes you smile. The same thing happens every time I opened my iTunes. I don’t know why but I always feel overwhelmed that I need to cry it out loud. This urges that came from my deepest heart. My very first love, my very first friends, those laughter, those capturing moments, those melodies that’s keeping me alive. Ooh all of those memories. Where’d it all go?
Running your old memories song feels like going on a field trip in your own video clip. Pieces through pieces, you will try stitch it out to make a very beautiful drama of your childhood stories.
And oh yes, this is my perfect moment. As I just accidentally played one of my precious hits, I found the real me coming back out of the black. And all of those pressures and tensions that I’ve been having for the past few days… will fade away just like that.
Yeah, a burst of bliss is what I sense right now. Just like what I’ve always had in about 10 years ago. No worries and no boundaries. No back stabbing and not even an overdosed whining. Hmmmphf… I don’t know why, but those last ones always slammed me back to the ground.
Oh well, don’t let that thing ruin my precious moment. I will just take a deep breath, close my eyes and pretend that I’m in my secret little heaven. Let me play in my own dream and let the reality slaps me back tomorrow. Tonight I just wanna have my own reunion and go finding my own nirvana. ☺
OK, I’m trying to be honest to myself here.
I’ve been running away from reality and yes indeed, it gets very exhausting.
So finally, I embrace myself to look at those horrific numbers in that square plated thing and I see a needle points at number 58. What the f***!!!?!! I gained like 8 kilos in (well, OK) 4 years! Oh dear God, I am that heavy, oh please help me!
I have pretty constant weights before and it always stays in 50. Sometimes it went to 48, or 52. But it didn’t put me much into trouble. I don’t really recall why I continue gaining weights ever since. But I do remember, it was in 2004, when I moved into my new house. It was quite a transition. I was working on my thesis, I got these cool dudes to hang out with, I could swim or exercise whenever I wanted to and I even could use the sauna. Let’s say I got overwhelmed with this situation. I exercised like, almost twice a week. And I enjoyed life to the max point. Next thing I know, I gained to 54 kilos. I said to myself “damn, did I just eat the elephant?” Maybe that time I let the food in, way too much than the way I let the food out. So, voila! You can guess what happened next.
And then, there comes the times that I became the unoccupied stressed-psycho college student. I was working on my thesis, I have no more classes and I have no jobs yet. So, go figure… I became this laziest girl, who woke up at nearly 11am every morning, ate all of the food that I thought was necessary to overcome my depression on working that thesis, slept throughout the day, or just simply sat comfortably on my chair and making love with the computer. No wonder my ass got the shape of that chair… sigh. At this point, my weights touches number 56. I tried to ignore it and assumed (in denial) that it will go back to normal somehow.
But then, there comes another stage of my life: The first time jobber. Nervous, Anxious, Stressed, Excited, thrilled, you name it! I’ve got all of those feelings surrounding me at the same time. The easiest emergency exit was, of course: eating. So, after a whole year of working, I finally said to myself that “this is going too far and I need to do something to stop it right away.” There, I said it loud and clear. It’s something that I should admit, so I can deal with it.
I think level 1 is completed.
So now, moving on to the next level.
The hardest part: losing weight.
Well, I guess I’ll let you know the progress soon.
Hope it (and it should) works!
Wish me luck! :D
Last night I saw the saddest little girl on earth.
She said she can’t sleep. She’s just wandering around like her soul was not even there… Searching for something.
I asked “What’s wrong, my dear?”
She answered “I can’t sleep”
I asked again “Yea, but why can’t you sleep? Come sleep next to me, I’ll sing you lullaby”
She said “No, I just want to play” Then she started to walking around the room with her eyes half closed and stopped on every corner, searching for something. But she can’t seem to find whatever she’s been looking for.
I approached her and said “Honey, let’s just go to sleep. Playing is for daylight. You’ll see that the sky is still dark and everybody’s sleeping. Of course you don’t want to miss all the fun in a sunny day because you’re too sleepy too play, do you?”
“But I just can’t sleep” I finally saw a huge desperation lying on her face. She was trying to hold something up. I’m guessing it’s her tears. That moment was really breaking my heart.
Why would a five years old girl trying her best not to cry and let her heart swollen by her own sadness, while the others would just simply cry it out loud and ask for more attention? I feel sorry that she has to deal with that kind of thing at her age. I can’t stand to see her dropped a single tear and tried to keep herself together at the same time like that. My heart cried, but I can’t show it to her. I have to be brave and I need her to know that. I’m all she’s got that night, there’s no one else.
I tried to hug her, but she refused. Then she laid her sleepy head on the wall and having her thoughts walking out of her body. God, please just let me do something to make her feel better. Anything! I tried to cheer her up again; “Hey girl, I got something for you” I pulled a tiny bunny that used to be my flash disk hanger out of my bag and gave it to her. I just bought it a few days ago, so I guess it still looks good. It worked; she slowly took it from my hand. “Let’s give it some name” I said to her. She agreed by nodding her head. “Let’s call her Tomo” She whispered. She still refused to lay her head on the pillow. But agreed to watch me making conversation with her new little friend. Slowly but sure, with a bunny telling a story about this and that for the rest of the night, she’s finally got to sleep. I smiled a bit, but at the same time I feel bitter. How could anyone let her feel this way? This is not the way a child would react if they are feeling insecure. This is something big… and deep.
The next morning, just like any other child, all of the sadness in her face has disappeared like nothing has ever happened that night. Or maybe she was just considering it as a nightmare. No more longing face, just a cheerful child with a comforting big smile. Oh God knows. But something huge must’ve really changed her. I don’t want to blame anybody. That won’t solve the problem. I don’t think I have enough power either. But I just wish I could help her. “Oh, I wish I knew what it was, dear”
To my dearest K,
I really hope that you’re feeling happy, no matter what happens.
I Love You, Dear…
So for today’s unexpected menu, we grab the office’s projector, shoot it to the wall, turn off the lights, play some good music from iTunes and just play with the lighting.
Stupidity to the max.
Love it.
Of course we panicked and man, it was just the beginning.
Then we met a new friend named trouble
who keeps visiting us day and night.
We’re pretty sure that this is not puberty because we’ve passed that one, years ago.
And oh the storms are way much stronger and painful this time.
It’s like standing in an intersection, attacked from every direction.
It’s unbearable.
We wish that we could stop the time. Because we can’t hold it any longer and we know it will get even worse in the future.
But no, the time won’t stop ticking and we ran ourselves out of tears.
We finally accept our existence as a bunch of twenty something people.
This is another excruciating stage of life
that we need to pass in order to survive.
We have no choice but to enjoy that heartbreaking road.
But screw that, because tonight…
Tonight we will take a good laugh about ourselves and take a LOT of pictures
…’til the pain fades away ;)
Just a bit reminder. Back when I was in kindergarten, I have always celebrated my birthday with a high temperature fever. My mum and sisters said I was too excited thinking about my birthday party, that I ended up getting myself overwhelmingly sick.
Thank God it only happened for a while. Years gone by pretty well with a less painful birthday. Too well until one day I decided that birthdays are boring, though presents never fails me ;).
But birthday will always be my favorite day, no matter what.
There are a lot of memorable favorite birthdays that I cherished:
The last one that I least expected is this year.
The sticky birthday. The one with the cake all over my body, in the middle of the tv commercial shooting, in front of the laughing clients & colleagues and on my 25th birthday. There’s just no way I could ever forget it.
These moments are too precious. It always reminded me that my loved ones are always being nice to me through the years of my life.
I’m speechless…
i ♥ u guys :)
What now?
What’s bothering you?
Why are you crying?
Have you had enough?
You can’t stand the pain?
I’m here,
I will listen
But I can’t change anything…
He’s the one who has the ball now
Make him do something
Or just go, my sister…
Your life worth more than this, you know…
Don’t blame it on him,
Don’t blame it on yourself
Don’t blame it on anybody
Just fix what you can fix
Then move on…
It’s time to make a change, my dear
There’s no limit out there
Don’t be scared
Be brave
Just follow the light and have faith
Only God knows what will happen…
The good things will eventually come at last
You just have to believe in yourself
Don’t just sit there like a doll, and whine…
Sitting alone at the 2nd story of McD PI,
eating my McFlurry and catching my breath for a while.
Today has been a long day for me.
It’s kinda funny that I got the chance
to wander alone again.
I remember Singapore…
Only it’s a lot noisier and foggier here.
Wish I could have that moment again someday.
Soon I will be joining the creative team
Hope I will have the chance to wonder again
Just like the old days…
You know what,
It’s not about the shirt.
It’s not about how you’ve always wrong no matter what.
It’s about me…
It’s about me start losing a status at where I go to work.
I don’t know who I am right now.
What I really should do and what is my first priority.
I really don’t know
Because I can’t do it both
It is too hard for me to do so.
I’ve already had a rough time most of the days
Everybody’s keep forcing me to do better and better
It’s frustrating me.
Because I know, I’m not that good
Maybe you know how it feels.
I need a getaway.
Need some time off to refresh my mind
I miss my family, never met them lately
I feel guilty and I don’t wanna be left alone
Because I need their support.
Otherwise I will explode.
I know you have good intentions for me
And I cherish that
But critics aren’t always easy to take.
I need to figure it out for a moment.
And that’s why I can’t communicate with you.
Because I’m trying to communicate with myself first.
You see,
It’s not about the shirt
Or about how you’ve always done wrong no matter what.
It’s about me.
And that’s why I need you here,
To support me too.
I know I need to struggle a little bit harder for this job.
And I know, none of these works made me proud.
But one thing for sure,
I know that I’m not happy.
Despite of the good ambiance and all,
I’m so ready to take off from this job.
an Account Executive, a Client Service, or whatever you name it.
This is not my dream job.
I thought I can survive this.
But then I started to think, will this effort be worth it.
There is a thin line between not good enough or not belong
I’m not willing to take that risk.
