Day One

Yay! Today is our first fasting day on 2009!

This year's fasting month is a little bit different with the previous years, because now I do it with my husband! *big grin*. Well not much is changing actually, because we still live in our parents' house. So there's no cooking for sahur whatsoever... Just having a weird fact that now he's joining sahur with the rest of the family.

Well I wish you all a great fasting month, my dear friends.



May God bless us all.

Nice to Meet You Boys :)

me and my Boy :)

I used to have a bunny named 'Boy' when I was a little kid. I loved him so much that I remember carrying him everywhere in the house. But unfortunately one day, we forgot to put him inside when it was raining hard. So the next thing I know, he was sick and suddenly disappeared. My family never really told me what happened to him. Some said he was just missing nowhere, some said he was taken and eaten by our house guards (way to go to win a kid's heart -_-') and so on. Maybe he was just dead that day. So I always have this unfinished business with bunnies. They have officially stolen my heart.

So by the way,
I went to my sister's house last week and look what I found? Bunnies! My sister decided to buy not one but three bunnies for his son. Two is Australian and one is Angora. Uuuurgkhkh!!! They're just 2 months old and they are super duper stupiddd! Stupidddd... Stupiddd... Furrballssss!!!

PHOENIX LIVE IN JAKARTA!

This news is not only cheering us: the fans, but also giving people the fact that Phoenix is still going to Jakarta, even after the bombing in J.W. Marriot and Ritz Carlton a few weeks ago. OH YES! THEY ARE NOT AFRAID! :D

The concert took place at bengkel night park, which was immediately loaded by teenagers here and there. My favorite local band NAIF was opening the stage stunningly, continued by the performance of the S.I.G.I.T and RNRM. They were all spectacular, though I think the S.I.G.I.T was dominating the stage waaay to long and RNRM’s sound check was a total waste of time. I stand a bit to the right-front of the stage with one tall boy blocking my view. But hey, we’re here to have fun! It’s more productive to struggle for a perfect spot than to grumble in a cheering crowd. Hehe… Just a theory. :)

Phoenix finally showed up at 10-ish pm and breaking the stage with Lisztomania. Everybody’s cheering, singing and dancing. I can’t complain because I’m one of them :). There are many complains coming from my own friends, telling how they were bothered with the audience who were dancing and singing out loud hysterically. Okay, maybe they’re a bit too hysterical. But I don’t see any reasons to complain at them. I mean, c’mon! This is a concert, for God sake, this is the moment you can actually see your idols on stage, performing their stuffs… just for YOU! This is the place where you can sing out loud and dance through the music you like. If you’re expecting a well mannered and stand-like-a-stone crowd, maybe you should just listen to MP3 at home. Don’t get me wrong, I spend money for this night and I don’t want it to be ruined by some nonsense skeptical person. I just want to enjoy what I think I can enjoy there.

Anyways, all songs from Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix were played except Fences... But they played my all time favorites like: If I Ever Feel Better, Funky Squaredance, Rally, Too Young and Run, Run, Run. And they’re also playing Playground Love by AIR, which was sung beautifully by Thomas Mars. 1901 was played at the very end of the show with a spectacular climax. Everybody’s cheering; I even felt the ground quaking.

All in all, Phoenix performance in Jakarta was beyond great! They’re a group of humble people who went down the stage in the middle of the show to greet their fans. And Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is one of the greatest albums I’ve ever heard. I’m not really a music maniac, but yet I can easily enjoy their music and sing along quite fluently all through the album.

Salute phoenix!

'til we meet again ;)

...
Acres
Visible illusion
Where it starts it ends
Love like a sunset
...

My dad is sick :(

Well I have to admit, my dad is not the healthiest person in the world. From heart disease, stroke, diabetes to high tension, you name it, he's going all through that stuffs. It's a sad fact, I know. But what can I do :(

So this morning, when I just sat on my office chair and have a little chit chat with my friend; my sister called and said dad fell off at the office. So nothing much to say, I jump up and joined her to the hospital he was taken to. It was like the longest journey I have ever had. Too much thoughts crossed my mind. I cannot bear to continue my own silent words of "what happened...", "what if...". I took a lot of effort to hold my tears up and trying hard to think only the positive ones.

I arrived at the ER of Omni Medical Care in Pulo Mas. The hospital that we thought was named 'OngkoMulyo' are now changing names into the most avoided hospital in Jakarta, due to their bad reputation regarding Ibu Prita's case. So of course we double panicked.

Dad was lying there with eyes closed. I thought he was unconscious, but thank God, turned out he was just closing his eyes. His colleagues was there, they said he almost fell of from his chair (a friend caught him) and his blood tension was at 70/40 the moment he was taken to the ER. Horror. I don't even have the heart to imagine such things. But again, thanks to his good friends who act relatively fast, my dad is at least saved from the bigger horror that might happened that day. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank God.

So now my father is relatively stable. His blood tension is still below the rate. But supposedly an 'intensive care unit' would do him good. We're planning to move him to RSPI as soon as he transportable tomorrow. No offense, but this hospital is just way too far from our houses and offices. And all of my dad's record are kept in RSPI, so we thought it would be our best decision to do so.

And for now...
I only hope for my dad's total recovery.

Love me love them.

ffffound

You get all
But why can't you give more?
Like come knocking on their door
Trying to torture me more?

Big love they carry
Never complain and envy
Just trying to love you most dearly
Hoping to be loved equally

Make a good point
But please don't disappoint

Just love me, love them.

the sisterhood of deserted hearts

*

Blood leads us here
Same genes but not exactly
Hugs and kisses, only seen on TV
Somewhat family, but why like this?

All kinds of weather
Do we stick together?
Or do we even bother?
Even the neighbors can do it better

The blood stays in body, not in soul
Why can’t we be whole?
All fall will stroll
Might be fun like rock n’ roll

But none above is in my control

Take Me Back to You

There's always something when I take a look at you
Like the way I smile when I see your morning sun
Or when your wind breezes to my hello

There you keep a place of friendship and laughter for me
a place to dream high under the big deep trees
where all the creativity nests and you set me free

Take me back to your deepest core
Take me back and I'll love you even more

a little souvenir for Angga & Diah

The news came early, that our dearest friend Diah & Angga are about to be signed at Romania as their first assignment on foreign affair department of Indonesia. Whew... this is something big. We sure are going to miss them dearly...

So I made this little souvenir for them... a postponed project that should have been done years ago as their wedding gift. But hey, nothing is ever too late when it comes to good deeds. So... :)

a tribute to dzeek

A blessing may come in the most unexpected ways. I’ve said this before and now I said it again. I don’t care, but I do feel blessed. :)

As my previous post, I was invited to one of my good friend’s band performance: dzeek at alun-alun Grand Indonesia. So there I went with my husband and one of my best friends.

Anyway, I did have a little sneak preview of the band on youtube. Well the music is making friends with my ears quite easily and it took me just a while to decide that I’m a proud fan of dzeek ;). But still, watching live performance is another thing for me. So yeah, I was really enjoying the show. Imam greeted us between the songs. Some of his words that I captured was “this album is dedicated to both of you, the whole billion copies of it”. I was like “Yaaay Imam… Yaaay dzeek…” I didn’t even understand what the billion copies stand for. I’m pretty happy already, knowing that he personally invited us to the launching and that he will give us the album himself as a wedding gift for us.

So after the performance was over, he brought the CD and opened the cover for us. He took us to the page where his name is printed on it and pointed his finger to the words below it. There goes my name and my husband’s name, printed well between his wedding wishes for us.

All I could say was “WOOOOW”… “THANK YOOOOU”…. WOOOOW”… “THANK YOOOOU”… over and over again. I was really out of words, I didn’t even know what to say to him. This was really beyond my expectation. I feel really blessed. Thank you God for sending me good and loving friends into my life. I hope I can make them smile in the future, just the way they made a smile on my face today. I am truly blessed.

Thank you Imam. Thank you dzeek.

May you live happily ever after too ;) .

by the way,

i really like the last song that I suspect, titled as ‘final call’. But I just can’t help but wonder, why they put a pretty long pause from the previous song? I’ve almost thought that the song is not even there.

Hehe, just curious though ;)

the sweetest gift ever

I love gifts.

But sometimes, when you got the most unexpected gifts from the most surprising friend, you will have to leave your jaws opened for a moment. This afternoon, I received a message from a good old friend of mine. He said that he’s going to launch his band’s second album: dzeek, at alun-alun – Grand Indonesia, this June 21th.

For reasons I have failed to understand, he’s inviting me and my husband to the launching because he wants to give us the album himself, as a wedding gift for us. I’m so happy and honored; I have almost shed a tear while reading it. I mean, my wedding is like months ago, I didn’t even expect any presents anymore. And because we do like their music and we know that this launching is important to him, this will become the sweetest gift we’ve ever received.

Thank you dearest Imam,

This gift will be remembered forever :)

the long lost life

I’m a copywriter. But yet I’ve never really succeeded in expressing my own feelings into words. It is a shameful fact, I know. But I did try to fight… and I’m still trying…

These, on the other hand, are a few expressions that I eventually managed to write down. I don’t say that these are good writings. But they are giving me vivid memories of a few crossroads I’ve been facing back then. And of course, that crossroads lead me here.

Later I found out that these writing were about to be vanished from its blog. I must do something.

So here we are :)

I’m still having the same old problem, though. But I hope I can manage some time to let myself free for once in a while.

This should be a good sign to start over again.

Wish me luck!

Better Together

There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing, but I can try for your heart
Our dreams and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs with sepia tone loving
Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together

- Jack Johnson on Better Together -

One moment to go

these girls just know how to please me…
and the timing couldn’t be more perfect.
I am truly blessed to have them here in my heart.
for they have made a smile on my face,
in the most fearful moment of my life.
thank you guys ♥

Blissful thinking

Opening your 10 years old boxes that’s been hidden way too deep in your closet will always makes you smile. The same thing happens every time I opened my iTunes. I don’t know why but I always feel overwhelmed that I need to cry it out loud. This urges that came from my deepest heart. My very first love, my very first friends, those laughter, those capturing moments, those melodies that’s keeping me alive. Ooh all of those memories. Where’d it all go?

Running your old memories song feels like going on a field trip in your own video clip. Pieces through pieces, you will try stitch it out to make a very beautiful drama of your childhood stories.

And oh yes, this is my perfect moment. As I just accidentally played one of my precious hits, I found the real me coming back out of the black. And all of those pressures and tensions that I’ve been having for the past few days… will fade away just like that.

Yeah, a burst of bliss is what I sense right now. Just like what I’ve always had in about 10 years ago. No worries and no boundaries. No back stabbing and not even an overdosed whining. Hmmmphf… I don’t know why, but those last ones always slammed me back to the ground.

Oh well, don’t let that thing ruin my precious moment. I will just take a deep breath, close my eyes and pretend that I’m in my secret little heaven. Let me play in my own dream and let the reality slaps me back tomorrow. Tonight I just wanna have my own reunion and go finding my own nirvana. ☺

Gaining life

OK, I’m trying to be honest to myself here.

I’ve been running away from reality and yes indeed, it gets very exhausting.

So finally, I embrace myself to look at those horrific numbers in that square plated thing and I see a needle points at number 58. What the f***!!!?!! I gained like 8 kilos in (well, OK) 4 years! Oh dear God, I am that heavy, oh please help me!

I have pretty constant weights before and it always stays in 50. Sometimes it went to 48, or 52. But it didn’t put me much into trouble. I don’t really recall why I continue gaining weights ever since. But I do remember, it was in 2004, when I moved into my new house. It was quite a transition. I was working on my thesis, I got these cool dudes to hang out with, I could swim or exercise whenever I wanted to and I even could use the sauna. Let’s say I got overwhelmed with this situation. I exercised like, almost twice a week. And I enjoyed life to the max point. Next thing I know, I gained to 54 kilos. I said to myself “damn, did I just eat the elephant?” Maybe that time I let the food in, way too much than the way I let the food out. So, voila! You can guess what happened next.

And then, there comes the times that I became the unoccupied stressed-psycho college student. I was working on my thesis, I have no more classes and I have no jobs yet. So, go figure… I became this laziest girl, who woke up at nearly 11am every morning, ate all of the food that I thought was necessary to overcome my depression on working that thesis, slept throughout the day, or just simply sat comfortably on my chair and making love with the computer. No wonder my ass got the shape of that chair… sigh. At this point, my weights touches number 56. I tried to ignore it and assumed (in denial) that it will go back to normal somehow.

But then, there comes another stage of my life: The first time jobber. Nervous, Anxious, Stressed, Excited, thrilled, you name it! I’ve got all of those feelings surrounding me at the same time. The easiest emergency exit was, of course: eating. So, after a whole year of working, I finally said to myself that “this is going too far and I need to do something to stop it right away.” There, I said it loud and clear. It’s something that I should admit, so I can deal with it.

I think level 1 is completed.

So now, moving on to the next level.

The hardest part: losing weight.

Well, I guess I’ll let you know the progress soon.

Hope it (and it should) works!

Wish me luck! :D

The saddest little girl on earth

Last night I saw the saddest little girl on earth.

She said she can’t sleep. She’s just wandering around like her soul was not even there… Searching for something.

I asked “What’s wrong, my dear?”

She answered “I can’t sleep”

I asked again “Yea, but why can’t you sleep? Come sleep next to me, I’ll sing you lullaby”

She said “No, I just want to play” Then she started to walking around the room with her eyes half closed and stopped on every corner, searching for something. But she can’t seem to find whatever she’s been looking for.

I approached her and said “Honey, let’s just go to sleep. Playing is for daylight. You’ll see that the sky is still dark and everybody’s sleeping. Of course you don’t want to miss all the fun in a sunny day because you’re too sleepy too play, do you?”

“But I just can’t sleep” I finally saw a huge desperation lying on her face. She was trying to hold something up. I’m guessing it’s her tears. That moment was really breaking my heart.

Why would a five years old girl trying her best not to cry and let her heart swollen by her own sadness, while the others would just simply cry it out loud and ask for more attention? I feel sorry that she has to deal with that kind of thing at her age. I can’t stand to see her dropped a single tear and tried to keep herself together at the same time like that. My heart cried, but I can’t show it to her. I have to be brave and I need her to know that. I’m all she’s got that night, there’s no one else.

I tried to hug her, but she refused. Then she laid her sleepy head on the wall and having her thoughts walking out of her body. God, please just let me do something to make her feel better. Anything! I tried to cheer her up again; “Hey girl, I got something for you” I pulled a tiny bunny that used to be my flash disk hanger out of my bag and gave it to her. I just bought it a few days ago, so I guess it still looks good. It worked; she slowly took it from my hand. “Let’s give it some name” I said to her. She agreed by nodding her head. “Let’s call her Tomo” She whispered. She still refused to lay her head on the pillow. But agreed to watch me making conversation with her new little friend. Slowly but sure, with a bunny telling a story about this and that for the rest of the night, she’s finally got to sleep. I smiled a bit, but at the same time I feel bitter. How could anyone let her feel this way? This is not the way a child would react if they are feeling insecure. This is something big… and deep.

The next morning, just like any other child, all of the sadness in her face has disappeared like nothing has ever happened that night. Or maybe she was just considering it as a nightmare. No more longing face, just a cheerful child with a comforting big smile. Oh God knows. But something huge must’ve really changed her. I don’t want to blame anybody. That won’t solve the problem. I don’t think I have enough power either. But I just wish I could help her. “Oh, I wish I knew what it was, dear”

To my dearest K,

I really hope that you’re feeling happy, no matter what happens.

I Love You, Dear…

Digital Delivery from Hongkong

The good thing about working in advertising is, we’re not really spending our working hours to work. Sometimes you could catch us playing Nintendo wii, or even watching movies in cinema. You can’t really predict what will happen in the next seconds.

So for today’s unexpected menu, we grab the office’s projector, shoot it to the wall, turn off the lights, play some good music from iTunes and just play with the lighting.

Stupidity to the max.

Love it.

away from the city madness

this is my neverland
the place where i can show the real me without ever feeling insecure.
The laughter, the greenery, the boundless energy i felt inside
oh it’s irreplaceable
i wish i could stay here forever
away from the city madness…
please take me to another dream like this,
but don’t bother to wake me up this time…

'til the pain fades away

The ugly facts of uncensored life are finally shown in front of our face.

Of course we panicked and man, it was just the beginning.
Then we met a new friend named trouble
who keeps visiting us day and night.
We’re pretty sure that this is not puberty because we’ve passed that one, years ago.

And oh the storms are way much stronger and painful this time.
It’s like standing in an intersection, attacked from every direction.
It’s unbearable.
We wish that we could stop the time. Because we can’t hold it any longer and we know it will get even worse in the future.
But no, the time won’t stop ticking and we ran ourselves out of tears.
We finally accept our existence as a bunch of twenty something people.

This is another excruciating stage of life
that we need to pass in order to survive.
We have no choice but to enjoy that heartbreaking road.

But screw that, because tonight…

Tonight we will take a good laugh about ourselves and take a LOT of pictures

…’til the pain fades away ;)

My 'it' day

Just a bit reminder. Back when I was in kindergarten, I have always celebrated my birthday with a high temperature fever. My mum and sisters said I was too excited thinking about my birthday party, that I ended up getting myself overwhelmingly sick.

Thank God it only happened for a while. Years gone by pretty well with a less painful birthday. Too well until one day I decided that birthdays are boring, though presents never fails me ;).

But birthday will always be my favorite day, no matter what.

There are a lot of memorable favorite birthdays that I cherished:

• the fever one I mentioned before
• the one when I got a giant chocolate rabbit as a present from my uncle
• the one when my dad picked me up and treat me a dinner for two at HokBen
• the one when my boyfriend made me a dreamy candle light dinner complete with his homemade cooking spaghetti aglio olio
• the two days in a row birthday. First night was bbq-ing with high school sweethearts and the second was watching movie at flicker with college gals
• the one when my sister, my boyfriend and my good friends are filling my new room with birthday presents from ikea, ace and index

The last one that I least expected is this year.

The sticky birthday. The one with the cake all over my body, in the middle of the tv commercial shooting, in front of the laughing clients & colleagues and on my 25th birthday. There’s just no way I could ever forget it.

These moments are too precious. It always reminded me that my loved ones are always being nice to me through the years of my life.

I’m speechless…
i ♥ u guys :)